joes

If any want to find me, look not far nor near, look not high nor low, look near your nose, look at joes.

woke up at 5

I hate when I can't sleep when I know I am tired. I woke up and watched the clock for 2 hours. maybe next time I should just give up watching the clock get up and do pushups or watch tv, because my thoughts at the early hour are really depressing, i just get sad. its 9 in the morning and I am watching Waynes World. what do you do at this time?

go, tie game

popcorn

when ideas become dreams then become expensive, its kind of depressing. things that get me excited make me feel like I have more of a reason to wake and be productive then they cost money and i realize scrabble championship is the answer.

bulb

we took these buy holding the shutter open, with a low apature.

no HDR pics

I have been trying to figure out why my "hdr" photos dont look quite right...well funny thing, my version of photoshop does not have the merge hdr option, i was using the merge panoramic option. so I think my aftereffect program might have the option, i just got to install it and try, if not i might have to buckle down and buy the program.

HDR

I heard about HDR photography from ben the korean and decided to try it out, my first couple of shots the picture is blurred, I used a table top tripod, but i dont think it was sturdy enough, and I cant figure out why the shadows are wierd. I used photoshops merge, option and i think it skrewed something up.

i am meeting more people

more and more people that seem to be "disenchanted" by life and church. why is so hard lately to be excited. I went to church last week for the first time in a while and felt like the teaching was the same old teching about the same charaters. nothing new. nothing to say, God bless you for making this world and the life I have. I guess what I am saying is it was boring.

i will not leave the house...

today everyone is freakin out of their minds with the insane notion they will save money on things they dont need, and everyone is crazy. I hope all of you that i care about dont die in the rampage of human greed and the true spirit of christmas gifts. why did anyone care that people called it x-mas anyway nobody even cares, what makes someone sad on christmas...they didnt get what they wanted. I admit i dont even usually think about it anymore now its just a good excuse to buy people things. so make it x-mas if you want. I should think about the j-man more than once a year (when i get a new ipod or more stuff) anyway. if i dont shame on me and i dont deserve the business end of a dogs ___ on christmas day.

we lost the pencil

My good friend matt and I decided on a whim, to take to the air for a little while. I let matt take the controls and he did pretty pretty good. I took pictures but the white balance was on incondecent light and they all got a blue tint. Its kind of cool. Oh and ladies I know you will notice matts new facial cut if you want matts email to send love letters let me know.

I got the new camera

well I did it I worked a lot of overtime and earned enough cash for the new camera. I took a couple of pics it takes really good photos.

Nancys

Oh man its so good to eat good food. I had been trying to think of something to eat for about 2 hours and I seem to be heavily influenced by things I read(which happens to be Jack Kerouac, On the road) so I started imagining if I was on a long road trip across the country what would I want to eat, where would I want to eat? Well the answer is Chicken and noodles, black coffee, pie, and bread...at nancys. It was all it could be, and I am so freakin full it hurts.

12 inch fingers

I just spent yesterday doing the job of 20 migdets with 12 inch fingers. My back is crazy sore. Its was a good job i felt like i earned the money. sometimes i dont always feel that way. after a long day i try to explain why I am so tired and sore but nobody understands why taking 12 small metal door stops off should take 11 hours and make me sore except the guy i worked with. I put his blogs link up, he is the korean guy.

I was talking with my friend matt the go player, we were asking ourselves if we would be in the same place today, unsatisfied, somewhat depressed, asking for purpose and why we wake up, in 25 years. then he bought a danish and i had a bite.

thanks for coming

Great party last night, thank you everyone for coming, I woke up this morning and the whole house was cleaned up. It was great to have so many friends come over and celebrate jens birthday. I think it was time for us all to party.

My Mac is home

Apple took good care of my Mac and she is back in my hands with a new battery and CD drive, it feels good to have an old friend back. I started reading Kerouac, On The Road. pretty pretty good.

war and peace

i hate pc's i just wrote my final thoughts on the book since i finished it and it got erased!!! I miss my mac.

today i am left alone

I might be to dramatic about it...but I am taking my mac to be sent out today, I am not excited about it but I need to do it. It the first time its been on its own.

Good company last night chillin with Matt and Serenity, nerding out on Lost, watching a New World,(NOVA) and eating some NM style burgers, green chile in a tortilla. Thank you matt for the company.

my mac is sick

I need to send my computer to apple so it will stop throwing up my cds, it will be gone like 5 days, they say. I am real sad, i am going to miss her.

i sleep

thats what I do, I sleep and miss things. I slept through the french kicks last nights, I slept through the OSU game on saturday, I sleep a lot, and I am tired of sleeping.

not moving

Well I have not moved...not physically...more spiritually. I dont do anything. I started thinking about my relationship with my wife and how I have been kind of selfish, and started blaming her.(before I realized i was being selfish) Then I started thinking about all my relationships, mostly me and the big man up stairs. Then I thought of how I could try and make more of an effort, and started thinking of maybe going to a small group or something churchy, then I thought how did the disciples get closer to God. it seems they did stuff like walk, drink and eat, and help heal and feed people. well I do a couple of those things already but I am thinking of the feeding. maybe that will get me moving.

about the last post

I think the camera should be a group effort. Every one that reads this blog donate a dollar, then I will be 3 dollars closer to buying the camera. Then in return I will take pictures and post them on this site. awsome pictures too.

dogs barking and baby poop

That is what my house is full of.
I have just finished a 6 day work week...yes thats normal for most people but not me. I got soft only working 4 days a week. Who ever invented 10 hour work days was awsome. I thank you inventer. I love the 10 hour day. I also love scrable, go, and my ipod. I am in the prosess of selling stuff to get a new camera. I think i sold all I can though. I sold my psp, and I am selling my 35mm SLR on ebay. The camera I have an eye on is like 600 bones. Its really sweet. I probably dont need it but I would like having a nice camera. I thought about a video camera, but I don't know what I would do with one. I never have memories other than my wedding, that I want to see over again in live action, I would rather see still pictures.

I should be sleeping

Well I am really tired and need to get to sleep, but I have been learning about how messing life can get. What happend to all the good things. I have so many people I know in very emotional positions, it really makes me feel uneasy. When will it happen to me. I think I am invincible but sooner or later, I will need somesort of wakeup call/unexplainable crapfest and I think it will come soon. I am sorry to those of you friends who have lost jobs, girls, and the way of life. I have a feeling I will be joining you for some reason.

if you were waiting...

I made it, I got to columbus. And I got first class which makes me feel spoiled. I am happy to be home and catch up on sleep. I have been very tired for a couple of days, now I recharge.

I am closer

Well I am not able to leave on my own airline, its still too full. The new plan is go from El Paso, buy purchased ticket to DFW on standby, to CMH on standby, if I get stuck in DFW I am going to be in trouble.

stay untill...

I didnt make any flights, I will try again tomorrow. This has been a snoozer, all day sitting, thank God for my toys and books.

my hopes were up

no they are down. I had a seat number, my heart pumped i felt like i was dreaming, I think i might of been, but they took it away. these flights are crazy full. reading the bible and war and peace while i wait.

only two flight missed so far, today

Well I am sure that nobody has been following my trip back from NM as closely as...well me, but I was only one forgoten alarm clock from making the 7:05 flight. But these last couple weeks I have been pondering on the fact that I have been putting very little trust in God. Its not that I don't trust God, its that I don't feel like I need God to turn gears in my life. I think I have been under the thinking that I have started to get it all under control, I have been making plans and backup plans and B-plans and C-plans and they don't involve much from God, except for him to do what I expect. I think I my role as my own god, has come to a end...at least till I forget he is my Leader.

the words of cash ring true

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

still at the airport

my poor dad has been to the airport 3 times in the last 24 hours, 2 times before 5 am. I am really hoping to get on the airplane, I could be in bad shape if i can't make it. I am not to sure how my boss will take it. If you read this pray for me. God is in control

stuck

I am sleepy, no room in the inn(airplane)

On my way back already

Well the short trip to visit my parents is over for now, as I try to get on to heavily crowded airplanes, hoping for many people to hit thier snooze to many times or forget to set their alarm clock at all. It is almost mean how strong I feel people should fail. Ok I am grumpy on 2 hours of sleep. The trip has been worth it, I got to see Nathan see his favorite things...Balloons. I also got to see lots of family and eat great food. God has given me with a good job, with some good benefits

not first, 27th, middle seat

I got one more chance, I am actually just hoping I get on the flight from Dallas to Albuquerque, not many seats left but I am praying, well i dont think i actually have prayed but i am now, so i am not lieing on my blog, because God reads blogs.

on my way

Going to visit my parents, hopeing to get first class. not looking hopeful. still open seats in coach, but after you go first its hard to go back.

Go

Thanks matt for the game of Go, your 2 up. Next time your mine.

hard time falling asleep

The last week I have had the hardest time falling asleep. I dont know what to do, I think i am going to revert to the old method, listen to a sermon. although this triggers a similar reaction when I hear sermon and am not supposed to fall asleep.

Really good news, my sister has been trying to get pregnant for a while, and i found out yesterday i am going to have another nephew or neice.

Wings

What I am doing

If you have been sitting at home thinking..."what is cisco doing at this moment?" Well since you asked, I am sitting at Cup O Joes drinking an americano and cliff bar,(which is very in at the moment, will organic ever be out I wonder?) Studing aviation again since i am having to take my biennial review for my pilots licence. Its sometimes sad to think I have been a pilot for 2 years and only flown less than 10 hours. Sad but I still like I it. I love to fly its got to be one of the best feelings in the world.

2Pac and the wonders of technology

Its so good to come to a good coffee house,(cup O joe) and listen to someone elses 2Pac. I cant help but wonder, whos it is; the guy with an afro, or the white girl with pink thing in her hair. Does music play backwards if you put the left earphone in your right ear???

Fall makes me smile

The fall has come and brought warm air this week cool air the next, a fresh breeze with the sunrise amazing colors that get individually painted by the changing temperature, great smells that remind me of the season I met my wife.

Get LOST

Hey I have to be one of the coolest kids in town cause i watch lost, and am more excited for this season to start than i am about chicken wings. I am also tired, cause its late which is early for normal people. Matt needs to fly with Cisco

For Sale

Today our house is being shown, if you read this say all your hale marys and our fathers(for the catholics) and ask your moms to pray that we sell it. God is good, and this is a great opportunity for him to dispay it. (in my opinion, he might have a different one which would turn out to be a better plan and make us better people and we might learn more so i will try and learn all i can from this.)
Please God let the buyers buy.

Magic

I was feeling rather slugish, then the dark water awoke my nerves and senses. microwaved from monday. its like magic.

Don't let emotions get you

My existence the last couple of weeks has been a bowl of emotion spilling over onto the kitchen floor. It’s getting the best of us. The laughable thing is i am getting into war and peace so heavy and sleeping less my reality is mixing with life and literature and dreams and i am over emotional about issues be cause of the trauma the Russian prince dealt with when his pregnant wife dies, and Whitney Houston wouldn’t let me have a shot of goldschlager. a man can only take so much.

Tolstoy and Rolls-Royce

Had a late start at work and got to read like 40 pages, leaning against my tool box, between all the spare engines. I bet Leo never thought never thought his work would be read by a kid from New mexico in Ohio, at his job fixing airplanes.

long week

This week has stretched me to the breaking piont, but church on sat night at heritage was good. Jim talked about the meaningless of life. it was a good reminder, but didnt make life easier.

burned

i burned the word HOT on my hand on a powerwasher exhaust. ALWAYS trust that word.

tired

sleepy, started reading war and peace. i like it

Pauls boutique

My first experiance with NYC, 4am cricket, crazy chinese food delivery boys, jim beam, small apartments with a monster vine, the biggest book store i have been in, "the strand" a dangerous poop attack, an amazing cafe with great chocolate cake and espresso(which led to the poop attack). and being with the bartleys for a couple days added much enjoyment to the big apple. Thanks john and matt and sara for having me. I hope to call you again to go our with me.

NY

See you in NY

2 things

I am in the middle of Moby Dick, anybody read it? want to go whaling?
I just saw Invincible, with Marky Mark and am thinking some back yard football would be good. maybe before or after the first buck game on sat.

Cup O Joe has bugs and good coffee

Books

I am looking to start reading a couple of new books this fall, does anyone have a suggestion?

I am ready to go back to work

I went to work today. But i am looking forward to working for real, no more paperwork no more sitting and waiting.

Home

I am back, in columbus, in my home, with my wife. I am so happy that i don't have to go on anymore trips for a while and i can just be home, i will be busy we are getting our house ready to sell, and looking for a new home, but busy at home is so much better than away.

Marquette

Not home

I drink coffee

Yellow Bourbon Coffee, a earthy coffee with a faint coconut bark taste and low acidity, A good book and rain. This is my saturday, except no wife this saturday. I can't sleep without her. I miss her.

I am not so

I am not so independent, I don't like being in this town away from my wife. I am tired of these streets and this hotel. I need to not complain because this is a neat opportunity to have. Never in my life have I had so much free time to read and write and walk. I walk a lot. I think I am the most tired of that. I need sleep. Good sleep. I cant wait to sleep in my own bed. I am looking forward to being in Columbus again. Even though I have all this free time, I still don't read and write as much as I should. I have had this image in my head that sometimes it would be fun to escape it all and be alone. To be away from all the stresses of life. This experience has taught me that being alone is really just for hermits, and the stresses of life wont go away they just change.
A book I read a couple of years ago, Cold Oceans is about a guy who thinks he can escape everything by going on these outdoor excursions by himself.

My view

I got to continue reading SEA-Wolf by jack london, this is my view. I also got my weekend with Jen, I feel spoiled.

Marquette

The next 6 weeks I will live in this hotel I sit in, going to class in the morning and in the afternoon I walk down to check out a couple of different restaurants then maybe get a espresso, and read Jack London’s sea-wolf by lake superior. I am trying to get a fishing pole and maybe catch something to cook next to the lake. The weather out here is about mid 70s to low 80s. I walk everywhere and have nothing to do really. It is like a vacation that I am getting paid for, and all of this I enjoy as much as eating hollow food. Its missing the thing most important, the thing that gives life sustenance and gives the soul energy to wake up, what I am missing is my wife. While all the good coffee and beautiful scenery might make me smile I still feel half full, my other half is 12 hours away.

Its 9am

As I write this I will slowly fall asleep. I have been up all night working on airplanes, sounds cool huh. Not really all I did was what a normal person does on a bad drive home from vacation with the family in a hot car on the side of a busy interstate...Change a couple of tires, and to top it off...Paper work. Yes I do like my job though. It is cool to be able to touch these miracles of the Wright brothers mind in places most people will never know exist. But before you start googleing "naught places to touch an airplane" I am jealous of people who are better at keeping friends. I stink at it. I have distances most of my friends to the once every other week talk. I miss having times of adventure with the guys. I look at bartleys blog, borst is naming his kid after you!!! That's a good friendship. I miss that. Will I ever make myself put the effort into someone that will mean so much to me that he would name his kid after me.

I read all that I write and realize it probably comes off as whoa is me. I am sorry I just felt bad, so if you are going to judge me and call me a baby just try not to read my blog anymore ok.

And i realize i do have some very good friends but i dont see you very much and i miss you.

new new job

well this is my last week at US Airways express, I got a job at american air which means no more driveing to dayton, no more 80 dollars a week just in gas. Its a great opportunity for me, american is a good airline to work for

Its been a long week

I have now worked 3rd shift for 2 weeks, and it feels longer, its real wierd to go to work at night and come home in the morning. But i dont mind it as much as i thought i would. I really like working on airplanes. which is also good, cause i drive over an hour each way. but that has given me much time to use my ipod, i couldnt make the trip with out it. I listen to many podcast and teachings from noels church and the la church. and get my daily liberal abc news cast. if any one has any good pod cast the could suggest let me know. I am always looking for new stuff. ohh yeah i cut my hair.

a couple days into it

i have been in training for about 5 days now, and i have had a chance to get on the floor, I really like the job, and what comes with it. i am glad to have a job that is more rewarding.

I Start tomorrow

i start training at my new job tomorrow, 8 am...fun.

As Requested

My Hotty Wife and Me before the Wedding

Sunday afternoon

Sunday morning i had to work, i hate when i have to work sunday, it really takes something from my life...it takes the quality time i have with jen away and it takes a tole on my spiritual life to not have that community and spiritual food. I mean working for me the last couple of years at wedgewood has been good, i have met lots of friends, met my current wife, it was a job that could sustain me all through college, i learned a lot about people, but it has taken away other things from my life as well. I hope to regain those things with the new job. I will start with US Air, in a few weeks, and i am a little nervous.

I really just wanted to reflect on my sunday afternoon. I got home and bought a New York Times paper, ($5) made some good french press coffee, sat on my porch read and drank coffee in the cool spring afternoon air. None of this made me in a good mood, i was stll grumpy all afternoon. I was just real frusterated with myself for not being able to enjoy my afternoon with Jen. now the weekend is over and i have to start over. Jens weekend is over today is mine. i feel like i am in some sort of rut.

the Santa Ynez wine

The last week Jen and I didnt go to Rome, or Athens, we went to the city of angels. Los Crazy. while on our trip we visited the beach, china town, hollywood blvd (which happens to be very dirty), and 2 hours north of the city, Santa Ynez (a small wine region) the best parts of the trip involved the wine tasting and the beach with my wife and seldom seen sister Shalom. We went to 3 winerys, the favorite was sunstone, organicly grown grapes, and gorgous landscape.

open forum

We just finished our 3 open forums with jared, and i think it went really well, lots of great conversations, lots of great people, all good. tons of great food, tons of beer and wine. i really liked it. and it felt like we really gave a lot of our friends a good experience.

Coffee

One word "French press" I have finally purchased one, and I love it. I love it for a couple of reasons.
first reason...Its just plain hip to have a French press
second reason...The coffee is so good and unadulterated
third reason...Something about a process makes it better, the fact that I am not just grinding the throwing the thing together in a maker makes it more fulfilling
fourth reason...Its much stronger.
fifth reason...Its hip/cool

this new 90 day thing

so there is an idea floating around, if your bible is around 1000 to 900 pages you can read the entire bible in 90 days if you read 10-12 pages a day. reading the bible in larger portions can give us a better idea of the larger picture, after all it is a story not a rule book. how many of us watch a movie 10 min at a time?

My Time

So I would like to make time for good time, time that i can use for good, and good i can use for time. if time is the one currency that has the same value for all, then I am rich and others, who are "really rich" seem to be "poor", but am i rich since my time is not all with my wife, with only 3 nights, and one morning together a week, we seem to be poor in our" time".

great thoughts by NT Wright

...He doesn’t give us the Holy Spirit in order to make us infallible – blind and dumb servants who merely sit there and
let the stuff flow through us. So, he doesn’t simply give us a rule book so that we could just
thumb through and look it up. He doesn’t create a church where you become automatically
sinless on entry. Because, as the goal and end of his work is redemption, so the means is
redemptive also: judgment and mercy, nature and grace. God does not, then, want to put
people into little boxes and keep them safe and sound. It is, after all, possible to be so sound
that you’re sound asleep. I am not in favor of unsoundness; but soundness means health, and
health means growth, and growth means life and vigor and new directions. The little boxes
in which you put people and keep them under control are called coffins.
...Because, again and again, we find, as we submit to scripture, as we wrestle with the
bits that don’t make sense, and as we burst through to a new sense that we haven’t thought of
or seen before, God breathes into our nostrils his own breath – the breath of life. And we
become living beings – a church recreated in his image, more fully human, thinking, alive
beings.

the things we love

I love...
the smell of really good coffee brewing
the smell of a old book, or new book
the smell of my new bible
the smell of an old like 60-70's car
the smell of my wifes hair and neck
the smell of new clothes
the sound of good music
looking at a candle thru a glass of wine then smelling the wine knowing that it is going to taste great
and doing that, till your tongue waters
then tasting the wine
the sound of my wifes soft breathing in a deep sleep
reading a part of the bible that just seems to make more sense than ever at that moment you never expected
the sound of my wifes laugh
my wifes kiss in the morning, knowing i have horrible breath
knowing she is mine forever and knowing i could not have chosen her cause she is too perfect for me

fly

I really want to see sigur ros play on the 13th, at the promo west, it could be awsome.

Isnt this weather great, I really enjoy it, i feel sad that i dont enjoy it more. I need to go flying. ohh it is something else when i get to go, because of the stuggle it took to get my licence.

Let me give you a quick story for those of you who dont know.
When i was about 3-5 yrs old i wanted to fly, I consistantly asked for wings from the store. I remember spending hours not moving but in my mind soaring over the landscape.

I continued to dream until I got to columbus, i dont even remember thinking about flying the whole year i was interning, then after a somewhat tough conversation, the thought was back in my mind, could i do it. Well I borrowed the money for what i thought was going to take 6-9 months and 5 grand.
2 years and 21 days after my first lesson, and 8 grand i had my licence. Well there is more but maybe you know already. so i hope i go today, i will take a picture if i do.

Books I am reading

Well since those of you who read my blog have shown me you are, (thanks Jed for the comment I returned the favor) I wanted to get any thoughts on these books I am reading...
Finding Common Ground by Tim Downs, I finished it about a week ago, very good, insight I have been thinking about and it is always nice to have a smarter person put thoughts like yours into understandable...Language?...
A Generous Orthodoxy: Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN -- by Brian D. McLaren
I haven't finished yet but have enjoyed his thoughts on different ways of interpreting scripture, worshiping God, viewing God, as long as taken with a grain of salt..Or is it sand?

to be continued...directly under this one

continued from above^

Breaking the de Vinci Code, by Darrel L Bock I am reading because of a suggestion that I should at least have some answers to Dan Browns book better than,"its fake"
Red Moon Rising: How 24-7 Prayer is Awakening a Generation -- by Peter Greig, Dave Roberts also recommended by a friend, so far its been great, I love a story when we get to see the process God puts people through.
The challenge of Jesus, NT Wright, a very literal bible reader but reads with his eyes in the bible and in history, a contextual reader...I am sure that's not a word. I like it though(the book and the word), does anyone see anything wrong with the way he interprets scripture?
The NASB translation of the bible, i love it cause its my new bible... and Gods word

My new bible

I just got back from a couple day retreat in mich seeing a lot of old friends, on the way back I stopped in Ann arbor to visit some a family that lived in my house when I was like 11 or 12. They moved up to Ann arbor to start a church since that is where they are from. They had there first boy when they lived with us now he is the age I was when I met them. Anyway Andrew loves books and we talked all night about interpreting the scripture and about good books, then we painted each others toenails...
well anyway as a wedding gift he gave jenny and I these awesome bibles, they are hand bound and stitched in a leather cover that only gets softer with age, and is guaranteed for life you can literally shake the bible by the pages and they will not rip out, anyway they are extremely nice bible and more expensive than I could ever afford. thanks drew

its been a long time

I am sure most of you have given up on me updating this blog.

well i am not.

have you heard of myspace? like my whole town i grew up in is on myspace, its crazy. i dont even know how to use it.

Well chrsitmas was really good. Jen, Ali and I all went to atlanta for 5 day and ate great food and good wine. her parents spoiled us and jen spoiled me with good gifts. in fact the greatest gift, a gift that says this is the meaing of Christmas...an...iPod, 30g video. I love it i have eternal sunshine and black hawkdown and this season of lost and music and all my wedding pictures, I love it. and still a lot of space left. its so pretty.

Anyway i have till the 20th off of work so...no work...no school, just ipod. i am spoiled.

Big news though, i might move to honduras for a while in june! i am excited.

enough for now...

this is real life

Well life is not what you always want, is it. I don know how to deal with stuff sometimes or if i can do anything about stuff that happens. I just dont know what to do. Jens Job is really killing her and i cant do anything about it. I am so helpless. I just want to help. Its not her fault. Why does life get so hard sometimes. I feel like winter is about life changing. I am feeling killed. My friends havent called me for a long time. I sometimes make the effort, and i do a bad job with it, so whats the piont. I dont want to be around people sometimes. I call some friends and they never call back. some people just dont call. I am so pathetic. I am like that little 8 year old crying kid, with his stuffed toy. talking to myself, but this is reality i am a wimp, a boy with out God. If i stop going to him i go back to being a babie. I havent really been reading his book as much as i should. I dont know why not i just dont have a taste for it. God hear me please and let me know you are present even in my absence. God i ask you to help. Be my dependancy. I come to you.

good simpsons quote

Homer: I just realised that the cat and the dog haven't had a wedding, they've been living in sin!

i am the 5th born but i think i fit the personality

You Are Likely a Second Born

At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate. At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating. When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism. In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative. Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels. You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects.

The Birth Order Predictor

rainy week

this week has been too long, like one of those weeks that can not get better just longer.
lets start with monday, wake up watch 24, starts cool...nature calls...nature clots the ultimate invention of the modern world, my porcaline meditaion seat...i caught it just in time to only dump about 2 gallons of water on the floor...after cleaning up i found out i had a hole from the bathroom to the kitchen ceiling light. so that sucked. tuesday my lack of edjumacation made me feel useless, then work...then i neglected my wife, then wed i woke up finished a sad book, got a bad hair cut, and now i sit in bed typing, next to my over worked wife and i feel responsible. ohh yeah i am watching really bad sci-fi tv.

i need to read more. be smarter. work more. eat less. work out. be a better husband. better friend, brother, son. and my neck hurts.

my wife is so cool, she is hot and deserves flowers

I am going to go to the store and buy my wife a crazy amount of flowers. Do we ever really appreciate what we have, i dont want to lose the chance to appreciate her

Untitled

I have no idea what to do. A couple years ago I thought I knew what I wanted to do as far as career, now I am not sure, which I am not worried about, but I think I should be. I mean jenny and I have so many things we want to do, not necessarily careers. We want to live in a foreign country, we want to be forest rangers, hike the mountains, live near the beach, none of these can really happen if I have a career. At least jens career has summers off. What should I do. Maybe I will go back to school, but I need to be paid to do it.

man its cold

the cold changes all my feeling about everything. I want to grow a beard, drink hot cider, make carmel apples, have a fireplace in my livingroom.
I love this weather but it also brings up a lot of feelings for the poor. this weather is really hard on the homeless. We need to be praying that they can find places to live, at least for the winter, and we need to be looking at our old coats and sleeping bags and money that we could spend to help them through the winter months. They say that the homeless get the most attention during the holiday season...well maybe thats good since this is the season that could be the hardest for them to survive in. so i hope that as we see a homeless person on the street we will make the effort to give them our coat, or buy them a meal or take them to a warm place and listen to them like jesus would listen to them. Lets not judge them lets look at them as people, not hobos or drunks. we need help if we can stand in our houses and look at them with judgement and pretend that we have it together so much better than them.

yummy, its in season

What do I choose

Well I am in this place right now where I am blogging a lot, I also Like to use the stickies to jot down my thoughts, and I like to write in my journal, and I want to use my typewriter more. Have I picked to many avenues for myself to communicate(with God, people, myself, jenny). Do I need to focus on one or two, Should I make the blog very informative and My personal journal(which is extremely nice might I add) more insiteful? With all this new time on my hands how do I find good ways to expressive again. When I write a lot in my blog I feel like I have exhausted my thoughts and don't feel much like writing with a pen, in a paper journal, and vise versa. Does anybody have any ideas? Should I just not be lazy and use all of them. By the way my type writer is cool.

wireless internet is everywhere

i am at lense crafters, and i am connected to the internet, i love it. I promise I will actually have meaningful blogs soon, i just love being wireless.

She's happy and I am happy

We are both happy with our new purchase, which makes me feel so much better about it, and she thought it was going to cost so much more, when I told her how much it cost she was relieved.

I am still kind of trying to get used to the Mac computer this is our first one and the prettiest one on the block.

I got it

ohh yeah I got it.
I got the new computer. Its beautiful. 12" powerbook. Yes I love it. I love it. Man I spent too much money on it though, I might be in trouble.

I cant sleep

You see I have this problem. I can sleep. I want to sleep, I like to sleep, I like sleeping next to my new wife. She is comfortable and soft and smells good. I just sit in bed and cant sleep. I want to sleep. Tomorrow is Christmas, maybe. I might be getting in my apple card, so I can go buy me a new toy. But I cant wait. Its not just the waiting that wont let me sleep. The last two weeks I haven't been able to sleep. I drank some wine, some beer, nothing. I watch the news, the boring channels, old cheers reruns. Which I love. I think I love Ted dungeon. Becker, cheers, two great shows. Anyway. I cant sleep. Its killing me. The only thing I haven't tried yet is reading. But its to dark in the room for that. Maybe I need a book light. Yes. Tomorrow I get my apple and my booklight. Then I will be able to sleep. I can sleep in the morning, just not at night. Why not. I like sleeping at night that's when jenny sleeps. She is hot, I like sleeping next to her. i sometimes run, that still wont help. I cant fall a s l e e p.

Quick thought

First of all kites xanga site is amazingly honest and insiteful.
second,
we are freed from the law, right, but we still try to follow the law, does the law still have any part in our lives now?

We might be getting a powerbook

So about the last 3 years I have wanted and dreamed and planned and wanted to buy a powerbook, I might be doing it. If my credit is approved I will soon be holding a small piece of mankind most powerful inventions, the computer, in a very attractive case. I am giddy. Stupid to be so excited about a computer...Yes. I might be a nerd. But my nerdness, isn't as bad as it could be. I will still put on my Guinness pajamas and drink my woodford reserve and smoke my pipe and read my books.

When I was younger I made a mental list of things I would like to do and own,
1. Get married to my best friend, check
2. live in a neiborhood where I could walk to the grocery store, check
3. Drink scotch or whisky in the cold, check
4. Own a manual typewriter, check
5. Learn to love fine wine and beer, check
6. Drive across the country with my wife, check
7. Have great camping gear, check
8. Go to another country, not check
9. Own a apple laptop, not check
10. Sit by a pond and drink wine with my wife, not check

I am sure my mental list is longer but I forget sometimes.

oh yeah, I am done with school, so the apple would be a graduation present. And jenny has a real job now. Things are very good. We are blessed daily even if we don't see it. Gods goodness is more apparent to me right now, which is sad, I wish I could focus on his goodness more consistently.

Reality

Well I have read a couple of my past blogs, and I apologize for my horrible spelling, and incomplete thoughts. I have been apologizing a lot recently.

I have been married for only like 6 weeks but I have already got myself on a path a negligence and miscommunication. I failed to see how harmful my words could become, they tear to the bone of my favorite person. They make me enter the camp of all those that have been before me harming her and cutting down her self esteem. I fell no different. I am amazed by the truth of the words from James."The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." Every time I underestimate the truth of the word it seems to slap me in the face, not just a tap on the shoulder but a slap.

Everything evil in us comes out and shows us we are not perfect, by harming our most loved ones.

much prayer always needed.

Varekai

Well I didnt see any Elephants or monkeys, but the cirque du soleil was one of the most beautiful peices of art i have ever seen. I encourage all to see this show if you have the chance. Its expansive but so worth it. I almost cried when it started the music and color arises so much emotion. It really is amazing.

Marriage is amazing, she is so fun to live with and spend time with. I love being her best friend. She is amazing. being with her is so cool. thats all i can really say now.

Longest week ever

I will always remember this week, the week before my wedding. Murphy's law to a lesser degree. House smells like burnt eggs, almost flip my jeep, grand parent are sick and cant come to the weeding. Jens house is half painted half torn apart. Tuxedos don't look like jenny wanted. Its raining and wendy's is kicking my butt. I am still the happiest man alive. I am marring a beautiful woman who is my best friend, my favorite everything. When this weekend is over I will be a new man. Thank you God for blessing me even though I deserve nothing.

9 days left but whos counting

Well I am almost married, and what are my thoughts...I am so happy I am marring the most desireable woman in the world. I have my bachalor party this weekend, which is really a celebration party, I am about to start the hardest, most foreign, most exciting, most edjucating adventure, and i cant wait to celebrate it with some of my closest friends. the only thing is, days are real long lately.

lost!

well i happend again, my phone was taken by a group of pirates, dressed as policemen, to disguise their identity. its crazy now-a-days what pirates will do just to stay anonymous. so to make a short story long, I need phone numbers, i only know jens. all others are gone. please call me just to leave your number, if you want to talk we can, but i just want numbers to fill my lonely phone list.

less than 8 weeks away

I am real close to being married. What does that do to me? It makes me scared and excited. I have never felt like life was so real. Up till now life is kind of, well if this doesnt work i will try that, or it doesnt matter to much if i do this or that. now it all counts. Life counts. thats all for now.